Don’t be that Bridesmaid!

Greetings BAye Hive!

Today I thought I’d merge two worlds that are close to me. Weddings fall under event planning and fashion is a huge part of the wedding planning. If people don’t remember any other detail of a wedding, they will remember the attire of the bridal party.

With that being said, the bridal parties’ attire is usually the coming together of childhood and adult daydreaming. It is visions of romantic sunsets in bridal gowns, doodles of names to be, colorful journal entries of ceremony/reception details and whatever else you can think of that help a bride brainstorm her dream wedding. After all, it is her and her groom’s big day! Everything about this day should be centered around and represent the happy couple and their relationship.

Bridesmaids of the future, if you are not the bride, the wedding day is not about you!
I cannot stress this enough. Please understand this before you accept an invite to be a part of someone’s wedding. Being asked to be a part of the bridal party is an honor all by itself. The sheer fact that the bride wants you by her side, on her big day, means you are important to her. Don’t make her regret it.

Know and understand your role.
Let’s take a look at the word bridesmaid. Webster defines bridesmaid as a woman who is an attendant of a bride (Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, 2020). The word attendant, as an adjective, is defined as accompanying, waiting upon, or following in order to perform service (Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, 2020). The role of the bridesmaid is the be of assistance to the bride and not of a headache to the bride.

Common bridesmaid foolery:

“That’s not my color.”

“Girl, don’t have me walking with a short groomsman.”

“I don’t want to wear my hair like that.”

“Why do we have to (fill in the blank)?”

Why must we do this to these brides to be? It is important to understand that by the time you are asked to be a part of the bridal party, the big details have already been decided upon. When you say “yes,” you are submitting yourself to the vision the bride has for her wedding day. The very vision that will be captured in print for years to come that she will look back on a as a day of her dreams coming true. (Hopefully) For this very reason, I trust that the bride is not going to have her bridal party looking crazy. 

Bridesmaids of the future, check your heart and your motives and please know that it is okay to say no. There are many reasons a person may decline to participate and the bride will understand if you let her know up front. If any of the common bridesmaid foolery previously mentioned, sounds like things you might say, it may be best to sit that wedding out Pumpkin! 

Until next time remain…

If you'd like to contact Professor Poised for an upcoming event you may be having in the Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas area, you can reach her at or visit


Dictionary, Merriam-Webster. (2020, June 25). “Attendant.” . Retrieved from
Dictionary, Merriam-Webster. (2020, June 25). “Bridesmaid.”. Retrieved from